You know, people, we've been conditioned to think that touching our remotes is a fundamental human right. But is it really? Think about it. Have you ever considered the germs, the sweat, the lingering essence of last night's pizza that's still clinging to your remote? No? Exactly.
That's why we're here today, to teach you the ways of remote control mastery. The art of not touching the remote. It's not just about cleanliness; it's about discipline, focus, and the ability to control your impulses.