``` Advanced Rescue Techniques

Technique 1: Duct Taping Everything

When all else fails, duct tape is the answer. Literally. Duct tape your broken limbs, your broken appliances, your broken relationships. It's like a miracle solution.

Subtechnique 1: Duct Taping Your Way out of a Tight Spot

Stuck in a tight spot? Just grab some duct tape and wrap yourself up like a burrito. It's like a human-sized tape job.

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Technique 2: Using Rocks as Weights

Why not? Rocks are just like weights, but heavier. And they're free! Just go ahead and use some rocks to weigh down that broken leg, and you'll be good as new...ish.

Technique 3: Hacking the Local Sewer System