Advanced Rescue Techniques

Subtopic 3: The Art of Disguising Yourself as a Fire Hydrant

Subtopic 4: The Secret to Faking a Broken Wheel

Step 1: Dye Your Hair Red

Not just any hair dye, my friend. We're talking a bold, fire-engine red. You see, the key to pulling off this look is to make it look like you've been sitting on a fire hydrant for hours. A little gel, a little mousse, and you're practically a real fire hydrant. Don't forget to practice your 'help me, I'm on fire!' face in the mirror.

Step 2: Wear a Fire Engine Red Jacket

It's not just about the hair, folks. You need to dress the part, too. A fire engine red jacket, preferably one with a big, shiny chrome badge on the front that says "Fire Department" in bold, black letters. This will really sell the look.

Step 3: Practice Your 'Help Me, I'm on Fire!' Face

It's all about the acting, my friend. You need to really sell the 'I'm on fire' look. Practice your 'HELP ME, I'M ON FIRE!' face in the mirror until you get it just right. You know, with a little bit of desperation, a pinch of panic, and a dash of 'I'm going to die!'.

Continue to Subtopic 4: The Secret to Faking a Broken Wheel