Advanced Underwater Rescue Techniques

Warning: Do not attempt these techniques without proper training and equipment. You will likely fail and/or drown.

1. The Ancient Art of Underwater Kung Fu

Master the art of using your body as a human-sized diving board to launch yourself towards the surface. Requires: 500 hours of practice, a strong back, and a willingness to sacrifice your dignity.

Learn more about Underwater Kung Fu

2. The Science of Buoyancy

Understand the intricacies of Archimedes' Principle and learn to use your body as a makeshift floatation device. Requires: Calculus, a calculator, and a strong stomach.

Dive deeper into Buoyancy Theory

3. The Secret to Not Panicking

Develop a clear head and a steady nerve to navigate even the most treacherous underwater environments. Requires: Meditation, a strong exhalation, and a willingness to accept your impending doom.

Calm your nerves with Panic Management Techniques