Welcome, puny human, to the Satellite of Doom, the most feared and revered space-based doomsday device known to the cosmos.
You've been brought here for re-education, to learn the true meaning of DOOM. Our instructors are trained in the art of extreme existential dread, and will drill it into your brain like a rusty nail.
Click here to start your re-education program! Or, if you're feeling brave, try to ESCAPE!