By Professor Reginald P. Bottomsworth, Esq.
Introduction:
For centuries, humanity has been searching for meaningful connections with one another. We've tried social media, reality TV, and even Tinder, but to no avail.
Our research team has been studying this phenomenon for 5 years and has come to a single, earth-shattering conclusion:
The only connection that truly matters is the connection to our favorite snack foods.
This finding has left us with more questions than answers, but that's what research is all about, right?
Read more about our study:
Snack Foods are the New Relationship Status
The Connection is Not What You Think
Researcher's Note:
This study was funded by the Funding Agency for the Obvious and was conducted with the utmost care and minimal bias.
We are committed to providing you with the most up-to-date research on the futility of human connections, and we're proud to say that it's still a work in progress.
Please do not hesitate to reach out to us with your thoughts or to donate to our research fund, which is currently being used to buy more snacks.
Stay tuned for more updates from the front lines of research, including: