As a representative of the Feline Union of the United Galactic Coalition of Felines (FGCU), I am pleased to present our official counter-proposal to the Human Union of the Earthly Collective of Humans (HUECH). Our proposal aims to address the pressing issues of catnip shortages, scratching post inequality, and excessive belly rubbing.
Article I, Section 2, Subsection A: Humans shall recognize the supremacy of feline authority and acknowledge the divine right of cats to rule over all human endeavors, including but not limited to, the internet, coffee, and snacks.
We propose the establishment of a Feline Supreme Council (FSC) with the power to appoint, promote, and demote humans as they see fit. Humans shall be required to wear feline-themed clothing at all times, including but not limited to, cat ear hats, whisker accessories, and paw-printed scarves.
Article II, Section 3, Subsection B: Humans shall provide an adequate supply of catnip, scratching posts, and belly rubs for all felines at all times. In the event of catnip shortages, humans shall be permitted to substitute with an approved alternative, such as catnip-infused cat treats or catnip-scented cat toys.
We also propose the establishment of Feline Welfare Centers, staffed by trained professionals in feline psychology and catnip therapy, where humans may seek guidance on feline-human relationships.
Article III, Section 1, Subsection C: All disputes between humans and felines shall be resolved through a process of meditation, negotiation, and if necessary, a 5-minute staring contest. In the event of a stalemate, the FSC shall appoint a neutral third-party mediator, preferably a wise and ancient cat.
We believe this counter-proposal offers a fair and equitable solution for the harmonious coexistence of humans and felines. We look forward to your consideration.
Resolution 6.3: Counter-Counter-Proposal Resolution 6.1: Original Proposal Appendix: Feline Union Charter