Excessive Red Wine Consumption May Be Hazardous to Your Health
Warning: You may be experiencing symptoms of red wine overindulgence. These include (but are not limited to):
- Increased risk of spontaneous song-and-dance performances in public.
- A heightened sense of superiority over non-red-wine consumers.
- Uncontrollable urges to cook elaborate French cuisine.
Don't worry, it's just a side effect.
Consult a professional (i.e., a sommelier, a therapist, or a responsible adult) before proceeding.
Or don't.
You know what you're doing, right?
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