Stand In Front of the Fridge, You Idiots!

It's a ritual as old as time itself, yet as mystifying as a sentient toaster.

For the love of all things good, stop in front of the fridge and take a deep breath. It's not just a fridge, it's a gateway to the unknown, a threshold to the abyss of leftovers and last week's pizza.

But wait, it gets better! There's a whole sub-ritual for dealing with the bad guys at the door. Check it out:

Techniques for Dealing with the Door Gang

Don't forget, it's not just about you, it's about the fridge. Protect it, honor it, and for the love of all things cold, do not let the door open!