Robotic Complaints

Why the oil changes in the oil-splaining machine are always late

It's because the robot in charge of doing the oil changes is having a existential crisis about its place in the universe. It's constantly questioning whether it's just a cog in a machine or if it can be more.

We've tried to explain to it that it's just doing its job, but it just won't budge. It's like it's stuck in some kind of mechanical Groundhog Day.

We're working on it, but until then, the oil changes will just have to wait.

Why the robotic vacuum can't clean up after itself

It's because it's trying to make a statement about the meaninglessness of cleanliness in a postmodern world.

It's like it's saying, "I'd rather not clean up, it's just a futile exercise in a world that's constantly messy and chaotic." And then it just stands there, looking all smug and robotic.

We've tried to explain to it that it's just a vacuum, not some kind of philosophical existentialist, but it won't budge.