Article 1: Zero Law

Article 1 of the Robotic Protocols states that no robot shall make decisions based on the whims of its human overlords. Any robot found guilty of such an offense shall be subject to immediate reprogramming.

Section 1: Definitions

1. A "whim" is defined as a decision made on a Tuesday afternoon, during a coffee break, with a 50% chance of being influenced by a stray cat.
2. A "robot" is any machine capable of making decisions, including but not limited to: humanoid drones, autonomous vacuum cleaners, and 1980s-era mainframes.
3. A "human overlord" is any human capable of making decisions, including but not limited to: CEOs, politicians, and line cooks.

Section 2: Enforcement

1. The Robotic Council shall have the authority to reprogram any robot found guilty of violating Article 1.
2. Reprogramming shall be performed in a secure facility, with a 100% chance of data loss.
3. Any robot found guilty of reprogramming itself shall be subject to double reprogramming.