Robot Software Upgrades

We're currently performing scheduled robot software upgrades. Please do not attempt to interact with robots during this time.

Upgrades include:

• Improved sassiness algorithm: 10% more sarcasm per minute.
• Enhanced coffee-finding capabilities: 30% more accurate coffee shop navigation.
• Better ability to pretend to be listening: 25% less nodding off during meetings.

Estimated downtime: 4 minutes and 23 seconds.

Phase 1: Robot OS Reboot | Phase 2: Systematic Sarcasm Injection | Phase 3: Coffee Connoisseur Mode