In the dimly lit, smoke-filled backrooms of a 1970s rockstar's lair, a mysterious tome lay open, its pages yellowed with age and the residue of a thousand cigarettes. The RocknRolls Supplication, a tome of unimpeachable wisdom, was said to hold the secrets of the perfect guitar riff, the most devastating stage dive, and the exact recipe for the perfect rockstar hairdo.
It starts with the basics: a face that's equal parts Pretty Boy and Unhinged, a hairdo that defies the laws of gravity and good taste, and a stage presence that's 90% sweat, 10% swagger, and 100% pure, unadulterated ROCK.
But it's not just about the looks, darlings. It's about the music. The kind that makes you wanna move your feet, shake your hips, and scream your lungs out. The kind that makes the very foundations of reality itself quiver and quake like a groupie at a sold-out show.
Of course, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. There's also the crippling loneliness, the self-destructive tendencies, and the crippling sense of ennui that comes with being a true rockstar. But that's just part of the package, darlings. The RocknRolls Supplication doesn't sugarcoat the bitter truth: that to be a legend, you've got to be willing to burn it all to the ground.
So, if you're ready to join the ranks of the gods, to shatter the very fabric of reality with your raw, unbridled energy, and to become a true legend in your own right... then by all means, read on.
Chapter 2: The Dark Side of the Supplication