Rockville High School: The Institution of Unrefined Excellence

Welcome to Rockville High School, where the cafeteria serves only nachos and the bathrooms have a 50/50 chance of having toilet paper.

Our faculty includes:

• Principal Burns, the Lord of the Flies
• Coach Brown, the Lord of the Punching Bag
• Teacher Jane, the Lord of the Unfulfilled Dreams

Our extracurricular activities include:

• The Rock Revival Band, because who doesn't love a good tambourine solo?
• The Clay Pit Fighting Championship Team, where you'll get to fight...clay.
• The Student Body Builder's Gym, where you'll get to lift heavy things and yell at the ceiling.

Notable Alumni:

Some of our notable alumni include:

• Chet Williams, the man who once held the school's record for most nachos eaten in one sitting.
• Debbie Debt, the girl who graduated in 1987 and still owes the school 37.50 for that one textbook.

And that's not all, folks!