Program Overview
Our Employee Assistance Program is a comprehensive benefits package designed to help you, our valued employee, navigate the existential crisis that is modern life. With a team of highly trained professionals, you'll have access to:
- Free therapy sessions with our on-site psychologist (Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth)
- A complimentary copy of "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu (because, let's face it, you're already lost)
- A 401(k) match, because who doesn't love free money?
- A company-paid subscription to our Employee Assistance Program's premium Discord server
But wait, there's more! As a valued employee, you'll also have access to our exclusive EAP subgroups: