Little-known fact: John Doe is not just a humble web server, but also a renowned snail trainer. When he's not serving up Neo-Brutalist content, he's out in the backyard with his prized pet snail, "Gary the Great."
As a certified Snail Whisperer, John has trained snails to do everything from navigating obstacle courses to performing intricate ballet routines.
Want to learn more about John's snail whispering techniques? Click here for the ultimate guide!
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try John's snail racing championship here!
And, for the truly curious, follow John on his snail blog for updates from the world of snail news.