Employment Opportunities

Current Job Openings:

Job Descriptions:

We are seeking highly motivated and experienced candidates for the following positions:

The Overseer of All Things: We are looking for someone to oversee everything. All of it. Every thing.
The Minion Manager: You will be responsible for managing a team of minions who are not actually managed by us, but we like the sound of it.
The Time Traveler: We need someone who can travel through time, but only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Must be willing to attend team meetings at 4:00 AM.

If you're interested in any of these positions, please email hr@ourcompany.com with your resume and a brief cover letter. Please include your preferred time-traveling frequency in the cover letter.

We offer a comprehensive benefits package, including but not limited to:

A 100% match on all coffee and energy drinks
A foosball table in the break room
A 4/10 chance of actually being able to travel through time

We are an equal opportunity employer, but only for people who have not been seen as an equal opportunity by society at large.