Management Roster: Hiring Process

Our hiring process is a series of rigorous and exciting challenges designed to test the mettle of our potential employees.

It begins with a comprehensive online application that requires a 5,000-word essay on "Why you're the best candidate ever."

1. Application Review Committee (ARC) - A panel of three stoic individuals who will either destroy your soul or send you to the next round.
2. Psychological Evaluation - A series of increasingly difficult puzzles and brain teasers that will drive you to the brink of insanity.
3. Phone Interview - A 30-minute conversation with our HR representative, who will pretend to be interested in your life story.
4. Skills Assessment - A series of timed challenges that will make you wonder if you're actually cut out for this.
5. Coffee Taste Test - A blind taste test to see if you can tell the difference between decaf and regular.

And that's just the first five steps. If you make it past that, we'll invite you to our secret underground lair for the next phase of the process.