Section 3: Performance Management

3.1: Performance Review Process

It's time to evaluate our employees!

Don't forget to bring your A-game, or in this case, your C-game.

Our performance review process is designed to help you grow in your career while simultaneously crushing your coworkers.

Step 1: Fill out the Performance Review Form (available here).

Step 2: Submit it to your manager, who will then review it for... um, "creative differences".

Step 3: Receive feedback, both constructive and destructive.

3.2: Conflict Resolution

Conflicts are inevitable.

But don't worry, we have a system in place to deal with them.

Our Conflict Resolution Process is like a game of rock-paper-scissors, but with more lawyers.

Step 1: Stomp your foot.

Step 2: Cross your arms.

Step 3: Call HR.

Learn more about our Conflict Resolution Process.