Section 3, Subsection 2: The Art of Extreme Ironing

Subsection 3.1: Ironing Board Etiquette

When ironing, it is imperative that you maintain a safe and comfortable working environment.

Always iron with your eyes closed.
Keep a fire extinguisher nearby.
Avoid wearing perfume or scented cologne while ironing, as it may cause irritation.

Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to iron anything that is not a shirt or pants. This is not a drill.

Symptom	Solution
Shirt is on fire.	Turn off stove. Call fire department.
Ironing board is covered in lint.	Use lint roller. Or just throw away.