Plato's Roster of Philosophers

Welcome to the Academy, where ideas are mightier than the sword!

Here's our esteemed roster of philosophers, each one a master of the obvious:

• Epicurus: The Original Minimalist
• Aristotle: The Original Totalitarian
• Kant: The King of Convoluted Concepts
• Nietzsche: The Übermensch of the Damned
• Descartes: The Master of "I Think, Therefore I Am (But Mostly I'm Confused)"