Safe Coffee Consumption Guidelines

Caution: Consuming too much coffee can lead to excessive happiness, improved productivity, and spontaneous combustion.

For your safety, please follow these guidelines:

• Do not consume more than 5 cups of coffee per day.
• Avoid adding sugar to your coffee, unless you're feeling extra fancy.
• If you experience jitters, anxiety, or an intense desire to reorganize your sock drawer, seek medical attention immediately.

Side Effects:

• Uncontrollable happiness
• Increased energy
• Spontaneous combustion (rare but possible)

If you experience any of the following symptoms after consuming coffee: increased heart rate, excessive yawning, or a sudden urge to watch cat videos, you may be experiencing coffee overload.