Rule 1: Don't touch any wires that look like they're on fire

It's not a decoration, it's an electrical hazard. Seriously, just don't.

Why electricity is a real thing, but your common sense is not

Rule 2: Don't try to "improve" our plumbing system with a hammer

You'll only end up improving the likelihood of water everywhere.

A brief history of our water supply system

Rule 3: Don't attempt to "reorganize" our filing system with your bare hands

You'll only end up reorganizing your fingerprints.

A cautionary tale

Rule 4: Don't "help" by turning off the fire alarms during a test

It's not a participation trophy, it's a life-saving device.

A tale of woe and ashes