Warning: This sandstorm will be larger than life, larger than love, and larger than most other sandstorms.
Wind: 50 mph
Duration: 3 hours 14 minutes
Probability: 99.9%
Cloudy with a high chance of sand.
Temperature: 85°F
Humidity: 90%
Stay indoors, wear a mask, and have a sense of humor.
Bring a spare set of lungs, just in case.