Sandy Cheeks, Overlord of the Acorn

• 1995-1998: Started as Intern, quickly rose to Assistant to the Regional Manager, and then Regional Manager, then Overlord of the Acorn at the company
• 1999-2001: Successfully implemented "Operation: Acorn-nado" which increased sales by 300% and made me an overnight sensation
• 2002-2005: Invented the "Acorn-erator" a machine that could turn any idea into a profitable business opportunity, but it was shut down by the government
• 2006-2008: Hired and fired the entire marketing department, but not before they stole my lunch
• 2009-2011: Built and sold the world's first and only successful line of Acorn-based_goals-oriented products, including the Acorn-ulator and the Acorn-nado-maker
• 2012-2015: Spent 3 years in the witness protection program after a minor scandal involving a certain "Operation: Acorn-gate"
• 2016-2019: Currently running for president of the Acorn-stitute of America, with a platform of "More Acorns, Less Problems"

Available for hire, but only prophets will be considered. Please include a copy of "Acorn-nado: The Movie" with your application.

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