Warning: the following guide is not for the faint of heart. Or the faint of sock. It's going to be a long and grueling journey of sarcastic sock giving, but someone's got to do it.
First things first, you're going to need some socks. Not just any socks, mind you. No, these need to be the most ridiculous, over-the-top, eye-rolling-est socks you can find. Think neon pink with green polka dots, or electric blue with neon green stripes. The more outlandish, the better.
Continue to Step 2: The Sock Giving Strategy