Oh joy, you're stuck here.

Well, isn't this just the most thrilling subpage you've ever seen? I'm sure you were really looking forward to being unhelpful.

As an expert in the art of being completely uncooperative, I've prepared a special list of utterly useless advice just for you:

• Tap your feet to the sound of your own ineptitude.
• Pretend you're a 90s kid, but actually, you're not.
• Curl up with a good book about crop rotation.