Wow, you managed to find this page. Congratulations.

1. The search results are in the fridge. Check the crisper drawer for any hidden answers.

2. Try asking a Google search. We're not sure why you didn't think of that.

3. Look for a wise and all-knowing sage in a nearby cave. We hear they're usually pretty good at finding things.

4. Check the local library, but only if you're willing to walk 5 blocks in the pouring rain. We hear the librarian's got some great gossip.

5. Ask a friend, but only if you have friends.