Technique 1: The Pinch and Pummel
Start by pinching the scalp with your fingers, then pummel the area with a series of quick, sharp taps.
Repeat this process for 17 minutes and 32 seconds, or until your scalp is sufficiently massaged.
Technique 2: The Scalp Shuffle
Shuffle the scalp with a series of rapid, intricate movements, as if you were a 1980s disco star.
Remember to wear platform shoes for maximum effect.
Technique 3: The Finger Frenzy
Frenzy with your fingers, tapping out a complex rhythm on the scalp.
Warning: may cause dizziness and disorientation.