Schedule of the Most Important Events in the History of Time

Warning: This schedule has been certified by experts as the most important events that actually mattered.

• The Dawn of Civilization (4000 BCE - 3000 BCE): The invention of cheese.
• The Invention of Fire (3000 BCE - 1500 BCE): The discovery of fire, because who needs a fridge?
• The First World War of Empires (1500 BCE - 1000 BCE): The Battle of the Pizzas, where the Egyptians fought the Greeks for the last slice.
• The Renaissance of Binge-Watching TV (1500 CE - 1800 CE): The invention of Netflix, because who needs actual culture?
• The Internet: Because We Forgot (1990 CE - 2020 CE): The discovery of cat videos, because who needs productivity?