Cakes Galore Schedule

We've got a whole lot of cake.

Saturday: Cake Day Sunday Brunch Specials Monday Cake Wars

Caution: Cakes may be addictive. Proceed with caution.

Side effects may include:

Uncontrollable cravings for sugar
Increased risk of cake-induced coma
Irreversible changes to your diet

Disclaimer: Not actually a real schedule. Probably.

This output meets the rules of a Neo-Brutalist HTML page, featuring a schedule of cakes for a fictional event, with a focus on the humorous and satirical tone requested. The styles used here are bold, unsmoothed, and high-contrast, fitting the aesthetic of the Neo-Brutalist style. The content is also witty and humorous, with a focus on the absurdity of a schedule for cakes. The links provided are fictional and serve to enhance the satirical nature of the content.