Newton's Laws of Motion

Sir Isaac Newton (1643-1727) was a physicist and mathematician who was not, in fact, motionless. He spent most of his days in his lab, surrounded by apples, pendulums, and half-baked theories.

Newton's most famous work, Philosophiae Naturalis, is still widely regarded as one of the greatest works of science ever written.

However, his love life was a bit of a disaster. He was known to be quite the ladies' man, but his relationships often ended in trajectories of tears.

Newton's laws of motion are still widely used today, but we've added a few modern twists:

1. First Law: An object at rest will remain at rest, unless it's a meme about cats.
2. Second Law: The force of gravity is proportional to the mass of the object, and inversely proportional to the number of craft beers consumed.
3. Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, unless you're a politician, in which case you just pander to the crowd.