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Sea of Despair: Social Media Algorithms
Statistics
- 95% of users have experienced existential dread due to algorithmic feed manipulation.
- 87% of users have considered abandoning all technology and living in a cabin in the woods.
- 92% of users have experienced at least one social media-induced anxiety attack.
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Causes of Despair by Platform
- Fb: 99% chance of despair due to algorithmic feed manipulation.
- Twitter: 98% chance of despair due to 280 character limitations.
- Instagram: 99.5% chance of despair due to curated highlight reels.
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Causes of Despair in the Workplace
- Manager uses too much jargon: 99% chance of despair.
- Cubicle is infested with dust bunnies: 95% chance of despair.
- Stapler madness: 99.9% chance of despair.
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