Seaside Cabins: Where the sea meets the sky, and so does your therapist.
We offer luxurious, rustic cabins perched on the edge of the ocean, with breathtaking views of the sea and the nearby island of Disappointment.
But wait, there's more! Our cabins also come with:
- A built-in therapist who will analyze your deepest fears and insecurities while you gaze out at the sea.
- A complimentary case of existential dread, because who needs a vacation anyway?
- A free upgrade to our premium package, which includes a complimentary existential crisis.
Don't miss out on this opportunity to find yourself lost at sea! Book your stay today!
Packages:
- Standard Seabreeze: Our most popular package, featuring:
- One free therapy session per day
- A 10% chance of spotting a dolphin
- A 50% chance of being eaten by a shark
- Ultra-Existential: For those who want to really dig deep into their feelings:
- Two free therapy sessions per day, with a 20% chance of a breakthrough
- A 20% chance of being lost at sea for an extra week
- A 100% chance of questioning the meaning of it all
Don't forget to follow us on social media for more updates on our latest cabin offerings!