Penalties for Poor Handshaking

For the uninitiated: A handshake is not just a gesture, it's a delicate dance of trust, a subtle balance of power, and a delicate art of not-actually- touching-but-still-being-too-close.

First Offense: The Stiff Arm

A gentle but firm reminder of the unwritten rules of social etiquette. A gentle tap on the shoulder, a raised eyebrow, a single raised eyebrow.

Second Offense: The Finger Wiggle

A more aggressive approach to correction, where the offender is forced to re-learn the basics of human interaction.

Third Offense: The Social Reeducation Camp

A full-on, immersive experience where the perpetrator must spend 48 hours in a simulated social environment, surrounded by experts in the field of Handshaking.

Mandatory Apology is not available for this offense.

Advanced Handshaking is available for this offense, but at an additional cost.

For more information, Frequently Asked Questions about handshaking penalties are available.