Secret Sauce Formula

For the initiated, the Secret Sauce is the most sought-after condiment in the multiverse.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups of rare, moon-harvested lemons
• 1 cup of imported, artisanal, gluten-free, vegan, organic, non-GMO soy sauce
• 1/2 cup of pureed, hand-squeezed, artisanal, small-batch, craft-grade garlic
• 1/4 cup of hand-churned, locally-sourced, grass-fed, free-range, gluten-free butter
• A dash of cosmic, quantum-entangled, super-rare paprika

To prepare the Secret Sauce, first, whisk the lemons, soy sauce, garlic, and butter in a 4D hyper-cubic blender at precisely 4:14 AM on a leap day.

Next, add the paprika and blend for exactly 7.3 seconds while simultaneously solving the Navier-Stokes equations.

Finally, strain the mixture through a mesh of precisely 3.5 mm openings, then serve on a bed of crushed, locally-sourced, artisanal, heirloom, hand-harvested, gluten-free, vegan crackers.

Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, temporary loss of sanity, irreversible addiction.

Variants of the Secret Sauce

Quantum Variant of the Secret Sauce