Secret Seduction Techniques

A Guide to Manipulating Your Significant Other (Without Actually Trying)

Are you tired of being single? Do you want to turn your significant other into a mindless, lovesick drone?

Look no further! Our expert guides have compiled the most effective (and ridiculous) seduction techniques known to man:

Technique 1: The Art of Ignoring Them (Until You Get What You Want)

Technique 2: The Power of Sudden, Unexplained Absence

Technique 3: The Ancient Art of Withholding Affection (Until They Beg for It)

Technique 4: The Seductive Power of Prolonged Staring

Don't say we didn't warn you...

Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Side effects may include: emotional trauma, relationship ruin, or spontaneous combustion.