Project 'Redemption'

Classified Recipe ID: PR-123456

Codename: 'The Cake That'll Make You Cry'

A highly complex and emotionally manipulative cake that'll break your heart and your diet. Ingredients:

• 1 cup of rich, velvety chocolate
• 1 cup of cream cheese
• 1 cup of crushed, despair

Instructions:

1. Mix the ingredients until your heart breaks.

2. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes, or until the mixture has reached a critical failure state.

3. Serve with an ice cream made of your deepest fears.

Project 'Panther'

Classified Recipe ID: PP-123456

Codename: 'The Pancake That'll Kill You'

A highly classified, top-secret pancake recipe that'll make you question the fabric of reality. Ingredients:

• 1 cup of fluffy, innocent-looking pancake batter
• 1/2 cup of syrup made from the tears of the damned
• 1/4 cup of butter, melted to perfection in the fires of despair

Instructions:

1. Cook on a griddle, or until the batter has reached a critical, existential crisis.

2. Serve with a side of maple syrup, and a dash of hopelessness.