Order Details:

Order ID: R123456

Product: "I'm Not Actually a Product"

Purchase Date: 2023-02-27

Reason for Return:

I bought this thing thinking it was a sentient, talking pineapple. It's been a week, and it still just sits there, quietly.

Can I get a refund, please?

Note: Due to our Infinite Return Policy, we're willing to accept returns of items that are not actually products. Please allow 3-5 business days for processing.

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