Here, you'll find all the benefits that come with working for the most dysfunctional company in the galaxy.
We'll cover 100% of your medical expenses, unless you get hurt on the job, in which case we'll just give you a stern lecture on workplace safety.
After 5 years of service, you'll be rewarded with a commemorative toaster that plays "The Safety Dance" on repeat.
Every Thursday, we'll provide you with a free lunch of your choice from our in-office Taco 'Bout It vending machine, which serves a variety of bland, factory-made tacos.