Step 1: The Initial Meeting

Call the employee into the office and pretend you're there to discuss their "incredible" contributions.

• Be sure to bring donuts. Lots of donuts.
• Have a camera crew on standby to capture the "raw emotion" of the termination.
• Tell them you're "just checking in" but "really love them" and "value their contributions."

Termination Scripts

Step 2: The Scripted Speech

Read from a teleprompter and try to keep a straight face.

• Avoid eye contact.
• Speak in a monotone voice.
• Don't smile, even if it's a Friday.

Employee Gifts