According to the groundbreaking new theory, "It's All About the Socks," every human action is motivated by a desire for matching footwear.
Proponents of the theory point to the countless hours spent agonizing over what to wear, the obsessive pursuit of limited-edition sneakers, and the willingness to spend an entire paycheck on a single pair of designer socks as evidence of this phenomenon.
When asked about the theory, Dr. Emma Taylor, lead researcher, quipped, "We've finally solved the mystery of human behavior. It's not about the economy, politics, or social media – it's about finding the perfect sock to pair with your skinny jeans."