Welcome to the Severance Package

Because who needs a severance package with boring old money, we're offering you a year's supply of:

• Free hugs from our in-house hug specialists
• Unlimited access to our state-of-the-art naptime facility
• A complimentary subscription to our premium brand of coffee

But wait, there's more!

Click here for full details on our terms of service, including but not limited to:

• How many hugs are included per year
• What kind of coffee is included
• A list of acceptable uses for our naptime facility (hint: it's not just for sleeping)

And, as always, don't forget to read the fine print.

(Disclaimer: This is not a real severance package and you will not actually receive any of these things. Or will you?)