Rule 1: Use only the most ostentatious font sizes and styles.

Because who needs subtlety?

See how it's done

Rule 2: Employ only high-contrast colors, like the colorblind can appreciate.

Don't even think about using pastels or beige.

View the palette

Rule 3: Make every link look like a button, but not really work like one.

Because who needs accessibility, anyway?

See the linkery abomination

Rule 4: Use drop shadows like it's going out of style.

Like, seriously, who needs subtlety?

View the shadowy mess