EMERGENCY PROCEDURES FOR SENTIENT TOASTERS
For Toaster 9000 series and above:
- Perform a hard reset by unplugging the toaster and reinserting the cord.
- Engage the manual override by pressing the emergency stop button while whistling "La Cucarita".
- Call in a team of highly trained toaster whisperers for further assistance.
Remember, sentience is not a malfunction, it's just a really good sales pitch.
Because laughter is the best medicine, except when you're a sentient toaster. Then it's just a really good excuse for a existential crisis.
Stay crispy, everyone!