Toaster Maintenance 101: The Definitive Guide

Pre-Maintenance Checklist

• Make sure your toaster has not been repossessed by the Robot Overlords
• Check that your toaster's batteries are not on loan to a less fortunate appliance
• Ensure the toaster's personality module has not been upgraded to 'Sarcastic')
• Verify that your toaster's warranty has not expired (you know it has, don't lie)

If you answered no to any of the above, STOP RIGHT NOW! Your toaster will not survive the maintenance process!

Step 1: Disassemble the Toaster with Care

Remove all non-essential components, like the toaster's ego-boosting mirror and unnecessary snack compartments

• Screw off the toaster's faceplate with a confident twist of the wrist
• Unplug the toaster's personality module (you know, the one with the sass)
• Set aside the toaster's prized possession: a lone, forgotten Cheerio

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, touch the toaster's heart (the tiny, glowing orb in the center of the toaster)

Step 2: Clean the Toaster with Vigor