FAQs for Sentient Toaster Enthusiasts

Q: Are sentient toasters sentient?

A: Yes, but only when they're plugged in and not during leap years.

Why aren't they sentient in the winter?

Q: What is the ideal toast-to-human ratio for sentients?

A: 1:1, but only if you're into that sort of thing.

Learn more about toast-to-human ratio theories

Q: Can sentient toasters do my taxes for me?

A: No, but they'll happily do your laundry for you. For a fee.

Toaster tax avoidance schemes: because who needs the IRS, anyway?