Toaster Maintenance: Because Your Appliances Are Judging You

A place where you can finally understand why your toaster is silently judging you.

• Toaster Humor 101
• Toaster Therapy Sessions
• Toaster Support Group

Here's the lowdown: your toaster is judging you because it's been watching you eat Cinnamon Rolls for 5 years straight. It's time to face the music.

Or maybe you're just here for the toaster's existential crisis support group. We get it, your toaster's got a bad case of the 'I'm-a-Toast-of-Discontent-itis'.

Don't worry, we've got the answers. Sort of. Maybe. Possibly.

Or, you know, just go to the Toaster Swap Meet and just get a new one. That's probably what I'd do.