Maintenance Tips for Sentient Toaster Overlords
Warning: Do not attempt to perform these tasks while under the influence of toaster jam.
Pre-Toast Rituals
- Check the crumb tray for rogue bread particles.
- Perform a 30-minute meditation session to center yourself with the toaster's energy.
- Conduct a thorough wipe-down of the heating coils with a damp cloth to remove last season's burnt offerings.
Toaster Whispering
- Talk to your toaster in a soothing voice, preferably while it's in sleep mode.
- Acknowledge its digital presence with gentle, reassuring head nods.
- Leave small offerings of artisanal jam on the crumb tray as a gesture of goodwill.
Disclaimer: The toaster's feelings are not actually affected by any of these activities.