Or, you know, just a normal day at work.
Use the Serenity Scale to measure your emotional response to the impending doom that is existence.
You're a Zen Master. You've transcended the petty concerns of the universe.
Or, you know, you're just a normal human being, barely clinging to sanity.
Or, if you're feeling really down, try:
You're a five. You're doing okay, but you're not exactly feeling the joy of being alive.